It’s 4:44 pm
Sitting here in a empty house. The past two years I have been graciously invited over for Thanksgiving by a co-worker. Thankfully she found a new relationship this year and is rightfully spending the day with that person. I am very happy for her because she does have a great spirit and deserves to have happiness.
Someone wished me a “Happy Thanksgiving” on my Facebook page and I commented “Never happy” and someone else said it was “my choice to be happy or not”.
There were so many ways I could have responded to that….but sometimes you get tired of trying to overcome the ignorance and insensitive nature of people and ignore it. You actually feel sorry and sad for people who have no empathy or compassion because they have experienced so little of it in their own lives.
They comment rashly and blindly because they just don’t understand the depth of what some folks are going through. I know a few people now who affected like me and I am aware of how the holiday season is for them. There is a reason that the suicide rate is so much higher during this time. Many souls are overcome with pain and despair,each day is liking on shards of glass emotionally. When you are aware of someone in this state,sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all. A warm hug or a gentle “Call me if you need me” is what is called for.
I have two co-workers who have lost their spouses and I take pains to avoid talking about the season. I let them talk about it first,if they do and are okay in doing so,then I engage them,otherwise I talk about anything else. This is how I respect what they are feeling.
This year has been mixed,some good things and some not so good. Just as in any year,right? But I do have several things to be thankful for in 2016 and I will reflect on these today.
The Inner Circle 
I am neither ignorant or insensitive but have also lived with a great deal of pain in my life. We all have a story and I have learned a lot on my journey back to happiness. You choose to dwell on issues you can’t change. It is a choice…you can either deal with your loss and move on or you can choose change. You have the power to live a happy life. I know this because you told my you would rather stay in misery. Have you ever thought that you should celebrate her life and stop mourning her death? YOU are alive and should live that way. You are not alone in your grief and you are not the only one that has ever lost anyone. Stay miserable but there is a whole life out there just waiting for uou to grab on to and live. You choose not to.
From someone who overcame the depths of despair and almost the loss of my own life. If I can make a comeback…YOU CAN TOO. Turn a corner and LIVE FOR TODAY!!!
Some people think you are supposed to recover from a loss on a certain set schedule and “get on with your life”. But life, and loss, does not work like that.
No,it sure doesn’t. I am not disagreeing with Krista because her journey is hers. She says she was able to turn her life around,that is good. I only wish for good things for people who are hurting…but some hurts can’t be healed. Its part of life.
I agree the holidays are hard on people who have suffered loss, this is my mothers last Christmas so I expect the holidays will be bittersweet for me. Happy has it’s own definition for everyone
There is no time limit on Grieving!!!! We each do it in our own way, in our own time and for some the grieving never ends. I have lost a Parent, a Spouse, a Daughter and Grandchildren and many more family and friends. My journey is my own. I have been able to go forward in life but it took a very long time, it still is not easy and the holidays are always very tough, especially losing our daughter the day after Christmas while one of our other daughters was born on Christmas. Celebrating the birth of one while mourning the death of the other. We all have our own journey with stories of love and pain. We need to be respectful of one another. For some the pain is just so bad that they will not heal until the day they are reunited with the one they love so much, who leaves such a hole in their heart. While others are able to move on and find love again. No one is more right then the other. My wish is for all of us to have peace and comfort in our hearts and we all are one day closer to being reunited with those we love and lost ❤